September 2005
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Well, am I? I’m not sure. It could be happening by accident. See, for vaguely medical reasons I decided I needed to cut down for a wee bit, and have now made it down to one morning cup of coffee. And already I’m noticing a number of disturbing changes.
LMV has remarked that I’ve become alarmingly talkative first thing in the morning. Usually I’m only capable of saying things like “urrghhh” and “eerrrmphh” and, quite often, “baaaaah” before and during the first cup. Then, around the middle of the second cup, I start ranting. This week, on my one cup a day, I’m apparently quite loquacious right from the start.
That aside, I’ve also noticed that I have much more time in the mornings. Conscious time, that is. I’ve usually needed an hour between waking up and having to do anything work-related. About thirty minutes in I can write emails and blog entries. Now I’ve found myself alert and ready to go right after finishing my breakfast. This is very worrying.
But wait, there’s more… My whole day, rather than being a series of delicious dizzying heart-pounding peaks and groggy, resentful, caffeine-starved troughs, is now lived in what Homer Simpson once called “the succulent middle.” And it really is quite succulent. I’m not sleepy, but nor am I hyper. I’m just sort of, well, awake, in a none too unpleasant way. All of the time.
I’m not sure if I can live like this. For about twelve years caffeine has been a central part of my identity. Without it, what will balance its essential opposite, alcohol? I’m told that getting over hangovers is all about hydration and aspirin, but really, caffeine must surely be crucial to the process too…
One less cup and I’ve kicked the habit. I even bought some gourmet decaf today. I mean, I love coffee. That’s not at issue. But there are definitely some positive things to say about a life without caffeine.
So I feel like I’m balanced on a knife’s edge. Which way to go? All the way to decaf, or back to the highs and lows of five cups of the real stuff each day? One cup of the latter seems so indecisive. Clearly moderation is not an option.
Posted by B. W. Ventril in Miscellanea
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6 Responses to “Am I giving up caffeine?”
- laura k says:
I’ve given up caffeine four separate times. Twice, cold turkey. Truly abominable experience. Glad I lived through it and was not prosecuted for murder. Two other times, went the gradual, adding-more-decaf to the mix route. It worked. But still.Now I am reconciled to my addiction. I limit my intake, so I have no negative effects. But I love caffeine, and it’s with for life.
Just something to think about.
June 11th, 2005 at 10:34 am - laura k says:
That is, it’s with me for life. Must not have had enough this morning. - Bear Left says:
*Rubbing BWV’s head & whispering, “Decaf!”* Just for ol’ times sakes.Seriously, though, while the real stuff is far tastier, overall my health & sanity are both so much better since I cut down my caffiene intake by about 80-90%. Heck, I can now even go to the gym first thing in the morning.
- B. W. Ventril says:
Laura and BL: I think I’m going to follow your examples of moderation. I quit because I was sort of speeding/having little bouts of semi-anxiety. Everything I read on this said, “first limit your caffeine.” Since limiting my caffine, presto, no speediness. However, I really, really miss the chemical relationship with caffeine itself. One cup of caf (or two of half caf) seem to now give me a nice wake-up buzz in the mornings, without any side-effects. I think I just couldn’t handle the mornings without at least a small caffeine buzz. It just doesn’t seem right. Anyway, to compensate I’m going to drink vast amounts of decaf in the afternoons. In fact, I’m enjoying a very nice decaf iced latte right now…So does all this mean I’m getting old?
- laura k says:
I don’t see why it would mean that. I’ve been caffeine-dependent since age 18. My worst cold-turkey experience - blinding headaches, utter inability to concentrate, just for starters - was at the tender age of 23.If anything, age has made it easier to manage. One big mug in the a.m., one half-caf (or strong cup of tea) around 4:00, I’m all set. I suck down iced decaf all summer, but I’m never tempted to up the intake. (Well, I might be tempted, but I remember insomnia, and don’t do it.)
That was the long way of saying: I find getting older makes it easier to avoid the extremes and find a happy middle ground.
- B. W. Ventril says:
Yes, the succulent middle… No more quintuple espressos for me.
Sun 4 Sep 2005