CrankyRants.com

“It’s… (choke)… It’s Company Policy!”

That’s what a manager at a Wendy’s fast-food restaurant in Miami cried out defiantly on tuesday after being shot several times in the arm trying to protect the chili sauce, authorities said.
 
A man in the Wendy’s drive-through argued with an employee because he wanted more of the condiment, police said. The worker told the customer that restaurant policy prohibited a customer from getting more than three packets.

The man insisted on 10, reports said. The employee complied, but police said the customer wanted even more.

The manager came out to speak to the man, said Miami-Dade police spokesman Mary Walter. The customer then shot the manager, who was taken to a hospital with injuries that were not life-threatening.

The customer fled in his vehicle with a female passenger, authorities said. No word yet on the street value of the stolen packets of Wendy’s Chili Sauce, but authorities place it well into the $1.23 to $2.12 range.

Microsoft Corp. is set to officially release the “Surface”, a coffee-table shaped computer that responds to touch and to special bar codes attached to everyday objects. Kind of like Minority Report, but with a reduced chance of the photos merging to reveal personal visions of yourself murdering anyone.

The machines, which Microsoft planned to debut Wednesday at a technology conference in Carlsbad, Calif., are set to arrive in November in T-Mobile USA stores and properties owned by Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide Inc. and Harrah’s Entertainment Inc.

Surface is essentially a Windows Vista PC tucked inside a shiny black table base, topped with a 30-inch touchscreen in a clear acrylic frame. Five cameras that can sense nearby objects are mounted beneath the screen. Users can interact with the machine by touching or dragging their fingertips and objects such as paintbrushes across the screen, or by setting real-world items tagged with special bar-code labels on top of it.

With a price tag between $5,000 and $10,000 per unit, Microsoft isn’t currently marketing the device to the family crowd, but will instead focus on the corporate workplace where the demand for push and slide photo-technology is, most likely, staggeringly high.

This is what you have to do to get upgraded to First Class these days? Two doctors on a Delta Air Lines flight from Germany delivered a baby in front of the first seats after first class. Delta Flight 131 to Atlanta was over the Washington area when a woman about 32 to 36 weeks — or nine months — pregnant went into labor Wednesday afternoon, prompting an emergency stop in Charlotte, N.C., about nine hours into the flight.

Vincent said the baby weighed about seven pounds and had not been named yet, though I’m guessing it will somehow involve a reference to the in-flight adventure. “Flyboy” or “Boeing” or “Depp” since the Pirates of the Carribean was probably playing during the delivery. It’s always playing on every plane at all times. Trust me.

Yes, this is what life is like when you’re a mom. Waiting on your kids every move… bored out of your skull and counting the days before they move out of the damn house. 

Happy Mother’s Day, dammit.