Well, we all knew it would happen one day. The invasion has begun.

On January 1st, several United pilots and crew swear they saw a spinning disc covered in lights hovering over O’Hare International airport before shooting up into the sky. Most likely because they forgot their passport and didn’t want to screw with international security.

This wasn’t your run-o-the-mill redneck UFO sighting in lower Boonfork Alabama or something. These were professional United Airline pilots and crew who witnessed a large metallic object hovering over Gate C17. Of course, none of these well-educated dipwads could tear their eyes away long enough to snap a phone pic or something. So of course the adage holds true. “If it ain’t on YouTube… it didn’t happen.”

Next a metal rock-like object crashed through a New Jersey home on January 3rd. We’re not talking about an object bouncing off of a roof… it was falling with enough velocity to pierce Metal Object Falls Through Roofshingles and plywood, shatter tile in a bathroom, and eventually lodge itself in a wall. The feds will likely conclude that this was also a “weather phenomenon”. You know… a REALLY hard metallic cloud that fell out of the sky.

I’m guessing that next we’ll see catastrophic winter storms isolated in certain regions of the country while everywhere else experiences the warmest winter in decades. Weather control. That’s how they get ya, see?

One thing’s for sure. If this is how the new year is going to start out? UFOs cruising for hot stewardesses and throwing rocks at houses… Britney and Donald Trump are going to have to come up with WAY better celebrity stunts in order to grab our attention. The bar has been raised.


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