First declared a planet in 1930, Pluto has now been officially downgraded to a Galactic Dirt Clod by the International Astronomical Union this week. The new rules to qualify an orbiting ice chunk as a planet include a clause that states the body must “clear the neighborhood around its orbit”.

Doesn’t make any sense to me either. But apparently it’s got something to do with the orbit being circular and not oblong, or that Pluto’s orbit passes through Neptune’s, or that Pluto has cooties or something like that. Modern astronomers are apparently so caught up in their lack of anything new to report that they now have to create their own news. First it was the discovery of a few new chunks of ice along the outer rim. Now the argument that these new “Dwarf Planets” are no better than Pluto, so why should Pluto get treated any differently just because it’s been a part of our squeaky classroom solar system models for nearly 80 years. 

So it’s clear the egg-heads at the IAU have sent a specific message to school children everywhere. ”Stick it up Uranus and forget about cute little Pluto. We’re scientists, dammit! And we determine what’s right. So repeat after me: My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us NOTHING!”


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