If you’re not a sports fan or a coach hater… all that’s left for you to do is start a gambling site. Of course, gambling is illegal throughout most of the country, and online-gambling is being restricted more and more each year. So If you’re going to start one, here’s a few tips.

  1. Move to Malaysia. International gambling sites are still cool with the Feds for some reason, and you’ll have access to all of the Malaria you can carry.
  2. Run it out of your basement and hire some guys named after things. “Johnny Carburetor” or “Donny Two Ears” or “Jimmy The Fuzzy Ducky Gorbano” or whatever. Makes you feel like your site has a real mob connection.
  3. Take the time to get your site a real mob connection. Why fake it when you can do what the pros do. Don’t know much about it myself, but as far as I can tell you gain instant access to plenty of financial and labor-related resources with practically no strings attached, apparently.

Finally, if you don’t want to actually dabble in the illegal and limb-bending world of organized crime… just go for the perfectly legal and legitimate arena of handicapping. You can make whatever predictions you want, charge people to listen to a poorly recorded mp3 of you giving them, and claim each week that you hit 12 out of 14 picks… and no one’s there to correct you because it’s for member’s only. What a deal! Plus you get to use cool phrases like “triple-stunner cast-iron lock of the century” every week.


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